Steve Greaves has a simple message: It’s OK not to be OK and seeking help can change lives. Steve Morgan heard his story
Keep it in the family. It’s a maxim Steve Greaves knows better than most – it helped turn his world around. A proud firefighter since 2004, he follows in well-worn footsteps: a member of the Greaves clan has been fighting fires in Hertfordshire since Steve’s granddad – another Steve – signed up in 1963 at Barnet.
As Steve tots up the family generation game: “My uncle, also Steve, joined in ’72, my dad Ted joined in 1974, my uncle Dave in ’82” – he reckons he’s the fifth Greaves of seven to serve. There’s also cousin Neil and brother Paul, who worked as a retained firefighter for a year.
What Steve had not realised was just how important those family ties, and in particular his second, extended family – his brigade brothers in arms – would prove.
Early in 2017, a crash on the way to a callout, with three other watch members resulted in the death of a pedestrian. This came just a month following a near miss for Steve, then 40, and a colleague, when a ceiling collapsed during a thatch blaze.
PROMISING FOOTBALLER
A former soldier, Steve had always been sporty. Legendary England striker Jimmy Greaves was a cousin of his grandad’s. A promising teenage footballer with Stevenage Borough himself, Steve was also a keen rugby player scouted by Saracens in his youth, “long before they turned professional”.
That love of rugby had continued with the fire service’s England side – following in the footsteps of his dad and uncle – and opened the door to a remarkable series of adventures in international veterans’ rugby.
After playing for FRS England against Wales in a 2015 warm-up match preceding an England- World XV fundraiser for stricken players Joost van der Westhuizen (South African World Cup winner) and former England prospect Matt Hampson, Steve was asked to turn out at second row for the ex-pros.
Having impressed names such as Mark Cueto and Mark Tindall with his efforts, he was asked back in February 2016, a few months before the accident – and then, for a third time, in February 2017.
While the rugby offered a distraction, demons were dogging and fogging his thoughts. Steve had hit the proverbial wall.
“That was the icing on the cake,” he remembers. “I had a lot of time off work after the accident – maybe a month, or two. I don’t think Julie, my wife, quite understood it – and I didn’t really.”
By way of illustration, he recounts a panic attack during a getaway break to Australia and New Zealand to celebrate his 20th wedding anniversary, his 40th and daughter Chloe’s 18th birthdays. He was unable to ride on the tour bus. “Every time we turned a corner, I just felt sick,” he says.
“I didn’t really want to talk to anyone – but this was like getting on a life raft.”
Then came the suggestion that he contact the Fire Fighters Charity. “I knew it was on offer, but didn’t think I needed it,” he says. “But I was feeling absolutely awful. So, I rang, and they said: ‘Come down straight away’.”
It was a pivotal moment. “I came back pretty much a new man after that first visit,” Steve says.
A one-to-one session with a therapist with a military link was revelatory. “I didn’t really want to talk to anyone – but this was like getting on a life raft.”
Slowly, having been given a diagnosis of moderate to severe PTSD, with the support of his wife, Julie and kids Tom, George and Chloe, Steve started to heal.
FINAL OUTING
And rugby returned to play its part once more. In 2020, there was a final outing for England, before the intervention of Covid finally brought the curtain down on his playing days.
Steve remains hugely grateful for the release fire service sport has offered, a break from the strain of the job, it has allowed him to make good friends with people he would regularly pay to watch.
Now back on track and a proud grandfather, Steve still visits the Fire Fighters Charity and is still actively involved in its fundraising activities.
His message to others is that, if you need help, you should use it.
“As everybody says these days, it’s OK not to be OK,” he says. “If that advice can change one life – I like to think I’ve saved a few in the day job as well – that’s great to have helped someone in need. I know I’ve been very lucky with the support I’ve had.”
